ten reasons why i'm ready to get married.

1. no more "good night see you tomorrow"s and "call me as you are on your way home"s. unless we go bruce and kris jenner one day. but... you know... doubtful.

2. instead of people insisting we fight like a married couple (oh, and you better believe we do...), we can actually, literally fight as a married couple. oh, the perks!

3. i can have my identity back! i can be ayley again! no longer the identity of a bride! just myself. my good old self and not "bride to be" or "almost married woman". and people will talk to me about other, normal things! i can't wait for that part.

4. we can build a home. in every way. spend our money on plungers and picture frames and spend our time building a spiritually meaningful life under one roof.

5. i'm there. if you don't already know, there is a strange place that my spirit has gradually shifted to over this engagement period where i'm not longer finding myself so much of a daughter, sister, coworker, friend, girlfriend or even fiance... but more of a wife. at least for the time being. there is now here and here i am now. that last bit was annoyingly seussian but what can you do. 

6. like super duper obvious "we-have-dated-for-nearly-five-years-and-yeah" stuff...

7. i've realized that all of this stuff isn't the end of my life! all the showers and parties and people being wonderful and loving and getting to wear a white dress and see people i love... it's not the ONLY time that happens! it is in a lot of ways, of course. but life after the wedding, to me, seems so much more fulfilling and meaningful and good. more amazing dresses will be worn. loved ones will be hugged and life will be celebrated! like, even people who had wholly dreadful weddings in hindsight manage to be terribly happy and lead beautiful lives. bring it on!

8. the world around us will recognize our solidified union so seriously that it would cost us thousands of dollars and dozens of sleepless nights to break it which, in my opinion, is pretty cool. like, our future next door neighbors would take breaks from gardening around their perfectly manicured lawns to discuss the demise of our marriage with our other neighbors. it would be a thing. this marriage thing is super serious. i like super serious.

9. traveling! cooking dinners! sleepovers! cohabitation! doing it all together and no one sayin' nuthin' 'bout it!

10. having the heat off. i realize in a lot of ways the heat will always be on, but i gained some very important heat-related insight the other night as we were on our way to take our bridal pictures. we were upset and not even close to being in a loving mood or being photographed. it was a difficult night for both of us and i ended up balling my dress up afterward and throwing it into my front seat, curling up in the backseat, and sleeping the whole night in my car. when i, very sorely, woke up, i saw i had left my little bouquet on my dashboard. i wanted to spit on it and throw it out the window, but decided against it and drove home, leaving it on my dashboard, in the hot sun and out of my cold mind. when i finally came to my senses and had a panicky moment about my dress being askew in my car, i rushed out to grab all of my belongings, only to find those poor flowers as pictured above. those roses were likely only in my car for a few hours of heat, but they withered quickly. and the smell! gosh... hell must smell like rotting roses. i realized, once again, how fragile beautiful things are in the heat. it doesn't take long for it to go south. i mean, a little heat is good. but when you leave it... bad stuff happens. bad stuff that takes a long time to fix. you know how it goes. and the heat has been on us. bad. and we haven't kept an eye on it like we should have. so, yeah. i'm gonna have fresh flowers on our wedding day. probably the freshest flowers i can find. for good reason. and i will take good care of them. maybe there will be other times in our lives where we will leave things in the heat for longer than we ought to. but i will be damned if i ever smell rotting roses like that ever again. #metaphor

don't let your roses rot, you guys.

it is july 23rd.
and i will be married on july 25th
to adam nomiddlename reid
and i am ready for it
like the desert is ready for rain
like a baby is ready to inflate his lungs for the first time
and like a girl who loves a boy very much is ready to just be his already.

xo.

as if i needed another reason...

^ trying our "best" kim + kanye shot, but neither of us really knew what to do so we just look super dorky.
i don't care.
i love it.

we get married in two weeks
which is totally crazy
but not as crazy as i am about adam these days.

that dude just keeps giving me more reasons to love him!
like...

how i wasn't really making a mental countdown of the exact days until our wedding, but any time we'd be together and someone would ask how many days it was until we seal the deal, adam would answer excitedly before they even finished the sentence.

and how adam emailed me with (genuine and serious!) concerns about my sunscreen needs on our honeymoon and looked up the top recommended brands, mentioning that sunburns weren't okay in any way, but he'd be okay if i got just a few more freckles. ;)

or how adam made absolutely certain i put "anti-humidity hair serum" on my honeymoon packing list, a detail i most definitely would have overlooked.

or how adam was bummed about us taking bridals days before our wedding because he wanted everyone to witness his unbridled emotional response to seeing me in my wedding dress because "everyone needs to know just how much i love you".

and how he says he has literally prayed to Jesus that our kids look more like me than him (and i hope for their sake the reverse happens!!).

how about how he said he would take a job he hated because he wants to see me work on creative freelance projects and make the world more beautiful (which i would never let him do!).

or how he has never made a single joke about getting married to me (which is amazing to me because he jokes about eeeverything) because it's "the single greatest thing he has ever done with his life".

two weeks until i never have to say good night to this person.

two weeks until it won't be weird if we like have kids 'n stuff. 

two weeks until i am a wife

and my life changes forever

and i'm terrified

while adam is as calm as can be, never wavering. not even for a moment. 

i love my husband. 

xo.

little memories.

is there anything sweeter than remembering little moments that have been buried in your memories?

like in june 2010 when i was (stupidly) mad at you for not making plans with me after work, 

so i ditched you for the farmer's market on 8th & D 

and took pictures of the fresh produce 

and you weren't even bothered by it one bit 

and even said my pictures were the "something good" that came out of it

and talked about how you wanted to frame them on our walls someday.

or how every time i put cinnamon on my pancakes i am reminded of that summer we spent nearly entirely indoors

perfecting an orange cinnamon pancake recipe and watching adventure time on the floor

and didn't regret it one bit.

or how that lower picture reminds me of the time we watched shutter island twice in a row 

because we were mesmerized by the imagery

and finally we decided we should get out of the house

even though it was pouring rain outside.

we didn't care.

we walked around penn quarter trying to decide where to eat,

being seated and ordering only water at about three beautiful restaurants

before deciding we didn't really want to eat at any of them,

and how we actually ended up getting chop't to go

so we could go home to watch shutter island again.

and how looking at certain pictures

i can almost smell the awful stench of your old apartment building.

and how i always drive past the bleachers in that park where we shared our awkward first kiss.

i think these things bury themselves in my mind on purpose...

making me search for them in some kind of treasure hunt

and all these little things in life are the clues on the map

that lead me to you

even when we are apart.

these little memories are buried treasures i hold dear.

adam reid,

i love you madly.

xo.

full of air and made of paper.

photo taken at the utah state fair 2 years ago.

certainty is a funny thing.

it's interesting to see how it is found to be both a comfort
and a disturbance.

here are some sample statements:
i am certain i will graduate high school.
i am certain i will not get cancer.
i am certain i will have children.
i am certain i will make it on time.

so on and so forth.

we speak with certainty all the time.
"when we have children, we are going to raise them to be christian."
"when you grow up and get married, you are going to see what it's like."
"when i'm in college, i'm going to party like it's 1999."
"god hates sinners."
"i will never have a cavity."
"i will always love you."

the assumptions we utter are so exciting.
the prospect of things makes us feel over the moon.

and then life happens
and we find ourselves in a struggle.

a struggle against cancer,
against infertility.
a struggle to find our soul mate.
a struggle to find out the truth, though we find ourselves in an uncompromisable state.
a struggle to help our austistic child through the public education system.
a struggle to support a spouse who has 6 months to live.
a struggle with an opposing opinion
or hardheadedness.
a struggle to live.

being on the internet last night,
social media specifically,
was a stirring experience.

it was a friend's child's 21st birthday. the one she had out of wedlock when she was a teenager.
a neighbor announced her young husband is going to die of cancer.
a friend announced an engagement.
people were spouting off their political opinions.
a friend's younger brother passed away.
a former student got into her dream school in new york city.
a friend was damning another for their civil rights involvement.

and all at once it was all floating in front of me:
the human experience,
the inescapability of death,
the uncertainty of,
well,
everything.

all at once
i felt as though my bones were hollow glass
that were surrounded by my tissue paper body,
which was about to cave in.

why, yes!
the certainty of which i live my life is comforting.
it makes me feel as though i know what's around each corner.

what a starry-eyed way of living, eh?

how very disturbing certainty can be.
it suggests an immovable path our lives are to take,
an immovable path to our salvation.

but...
oh, the fragility of life!

how fragile my loved ones are!
how fragile my financial situation!
how fragile my safety!
how fragile my bones!

i seek certainty to compensate for this fragility.
we all do.
feelings of certainty combat the grey area we find ourselves lost in.
certainty
or faith that things will work out.

seeing the brittleness of life on others,
made me feel an overwhelming guilt.
i could not sleep soundly while my fellow people are breaking to bits.

i couldn't rest knowing that at any moment
life can flip a switch
and change.

life doesn't cycle around and around like an amusement park ride.
sometimes it only circles once.
sometimes it breaks and a fireman asks you to climb down a really long ladder.
sometimes you feel like it might never end.
sometimes it doesn't even start.

so
all the more reason to eat cotton candy
and wear cowboy boots to the fair.

that frailty that life carries
it is humbling.
oh
so
humbling.

i guess what i'm saying is:


you have to know that your entire life could break at a moment's notice
and you might lose it all.

you must know that.


and all the while
sleep soundly.

live life the way you know best.
like...

it's okay to talk about death in one breath
and cheezbrgr cats in the next.
it's okay to fret about lipstick
or about exams
even when there are worse things.

you just gotta kiss the love of your life on the forehead more often.
you gotta help people.
you gotta be okay with grey area.
you gotta know that when you get a dog it's gonna to die.
you gotta know that you could get very, very sick
or that your child might have something terribly wrong with them.

and you gotta put on red lipstick
and take selfies
and make people uncomfortable with your PDA
and make plans even though they might never come to fruition.
you gotta party like it's 1999
and you gotta keep your chin up.

you simply must hold things close to you while you can
and it's okay to say you have a shred of certainty
even when you don't

because you don't.
no one does.

the only thing we know
is there is love
and it's here
and it's real
very real
and it's here to save us
and change our lives.

it's here even when our hearts break
and our legs fail.
it's there when we lose it all.
always.

i might lose my sweet dog tonight
or my precious family
or the love of my life.

i don't know.
but DAMN it
i'm gonna love hard.

and i'm gonna watch cat videos on the internet with them
and i'm probably going to laugh until one of us can't breathe
and then we might cry for our neighbors
or we might quarrel or disagree over political things.
we might sit silently
and not even whisper that we love each other
even though we know we could lose it all in a fire or something.

and it's okay
because love is strong
and i am holding on to them
with all the strength i have
even when life is so frail.

xo.

love week pt 2

when we visited dc,
we had one of our new best photographriends, amelia johnson,
shoot us to commemorate our first official trip back there,
since we met there 'n all.

and oh. my. goodness.

all i can say is go over to her blog. and like her on facebook.
and maybe email or comment on everything she does.
she deserves it
and then some.

you do not know sweetness or happiness until you meet amelia johnson
who is probably julia child reincarnate. that's our theory.

these images are so, so dear to me.
we woke up that morning and i was stressing out, as usual,
and, as usual, adam had the lucky job of getting me to calm down,
which he is very good at
which is probably sad
because my anxiety is really bad
so he's gotten really good at it with practice.
but anyways...

when i was getting short of breath and hyperventilating a bit,
he came over and gently took my belongings out of my hands and placed them on the floor
and took my hands and said "hey. look at me" in probably the sweetest way possible.

then he asked me to trust him to carry us,
to let go when i lose control and trust that he will be able to carry us back to dry land.
and i cannot tell you how unbelievably lucky i felt at that moment as i nodded.

then while we were hanging out with amelia,
there was a moment where she asked adam to gently grab my waist
and for me to look at him like i was just melting.
it was incredibly moving and so relevant to our conversation that morning
that i had tears in my eyes for a moment.

i knew that adam accepted me for all my faults and imperfections
and that no matter what happened
i could always freely hand myself over
and i would always be loved in an entirely free and fearless way.

because... how on earth did our relationship even happen?
why did we meet each other on the train? and how?
have we really only known each other for four years?
how... in this crazy world, when we both lived miles and miles apart
and there are 6 billion other people wandering this planet...
how did we find each other?

these are questions we ask ourselves daily
and it doesn't really matter
but we know we are the lucky ones
and these pictures only cement that in my heart.


we connect to this song so much
so listen to it when you head over to amelia's blog for more (seriously, she is a gem!),
if you so choose.

happy love week!
go kiss all your loved ones!

xo.

to kick off love week...

earlier this month we got to play dress up and play pretend in a style shoot for amber lynn photography!
all i can think of while looking at these pictures
is how absolutely cold it was
(& how i wished i had worn a sweater to cover up my arms
for a number of reasons...)
and how fun it was to do this shoot with amber!
it made it totally worth it and we forgot how cold it was when she'd be shooting...
she's so wonderful!

amber is the sweetest girl to work with
and we had so much fun hanging out with her,
as well as with crystal from signature brides!
and those macaroons were to die for! get a hold of forget me not cake co. if you don't believe us!
we actually tucked a bunch of them in a napkin as we were leaving... :)

and just so you know, that's amber's pretty ring that i'm wearing in this styled shoot...
not mine! ;)


even though it was so cold (i mean... sooooo cold),
we wanted to sit at that table for hours!
it was so lovely.

head over to utah bride blog to see more
and make sure you check out amber lynn photography!

xo.

inexplainable.

here's my opinion.
i think once you have found love that you just can't explain
then it's the very definition of "true love".
when it's indestructible,
unconditional,
and incomprehensible.

so...
you can find your best friend,
the most attractive person in the world,
and the coolest cat around
and fall in love with them.

but when you find that you can't even understand the love that you have for this human being,
when you find that you are unable to explain how or why you feel this way,
and when you find that even you feel that the love you have for this person is too big to fit inside of you...

then you have done it.
you've reached capacity.
you've found what we are all looking for.

and i can honestly, truly, with my entire heart...
even the spaces of it i didn't know existed until recently...
say that i have that for adam reid.

i don't care to explain to anyone how or why i feel this way
and i don't understand it
and i sometimes feel that it's too big for my tiny heart,
it's real
and is indestructible,
absolutely unconditional,
and totally and completely incomprehensible.


but it's there
and it puts a skip in my step
and makes the world look golden.
i just...
i love him.
ohhhh how i love him.

no matter what happens,
no matter how trying life gets and how difficult things are
i just love him even more.
i don't care if i'm criticized or people don't understand it.
i don't.
at all.
i don't care!
i love adam reid.

and it is utterly inexplainable.

xo.

autumn mistletoe.

after a nice walk yesterday,
(in which i was entirely overdressed... four layers... what was i thinking?)
adam pulled me by the hand over to the park,
asked me to pick the prettiest leaf off of a pretty golden tree,
and held it up over our heads, saying,
"hows abouts we use this as some autumn mistletoe, johnsonly?"
"good idea, reidster," i said.

he can be purdy cute sometimes, if i do say so myself.

xo.

it must be noted...

... that i think about this cinemagraph almost daily
& that i can't get domestic thoughts off the brain.

and that i decided this next photograph describes my life:

we simply must bring attention to the fact...

that adam & i have slow danced to this song (one of our very favorites)
three times in the last week
while whispering i-love-yous and you're-mines
and not seeing the other smile,
but hearing it.


we decided this is the music you listen to when you're in love
and we are.
very much.

more every day
and every day it seems unimaginable how it could increase
but then tomorrow comes
and you scoff at the silly puppy love that consumed you yesterday
because this... this is real love today.

so, we frankly ought to mention
that there are few things greater than the smell of rain,
or the dynamite electricity on the final day of school before summer
and the way the wind blows over the very tall grass in shiny waves

but those things pale in comparison
to this love.

xo.

the proof that we are soulmates.

just sent this video to dear old adam.

isn't it sweet?
sweet as pie, if you ask me.





happy weekend!



xo.

it's like we were able to press pause.

i love the people in my world
and i've been spending an abundance of wonderful time with them lately.

we've been:

- spending lots of time laying on the floor
- playing lots of scrabble
- taking lots of naps
- looking at lots of diamonds and dresses
- taking advantage of the availability of fresh flowers everywhere (thank you, summer!)
- laughing embarrasingly loud and hard every night
- doing a lot of hand-holding
- running a lot of (very important) errands
- sharing a lot of daydreams and goals
- making a lot of internal changes
- aaaand loving each other as much as we possibly can

this little calm before the work&school&responsibilities of the fall sweep us away once again
has been nothing short of a beautiful and love-filled diversion from the heaviness of "real" life.

we've had conversations i never thought we'd have.
few pictures were taken.
few phone calls were answered.
plenty of "i-love-you's" were shared.

i just want to remember these people... my people... just as they are
because things are perfect.

xo.

that time you called me "baby" while we were fighting and my heart melted.

dear boyfriend,  

i love how much you love bookstores. i love that when we go out you know all these random strangers because you've befriended them or helped them in some way. i love that you have some random political knowledge of foreign affairs. i love that when i say i like a shirt on you, you seem to wear it more often. i love when we are sitting in a movie and you think something is clever: you do this particular giggle, shift in your seat and look over at me to see if i am laughing, too. i love that you don't care about messing up my lipstick or getting any on you, for that matter. i love that you spend literally all of your free time with me and still say you miss me when we aren't together. 

i like you. a lot.  

                                lovelovelove ♥ ayley 

p.s. you look handsome in this picture.  

xo. 

a heyhey

friday was the day adam & i were supposed to take a trip to dc.
long story short, that didn't happen.

we were definitely feeling the blues,
so adam called me up thursday night and told me he took the day off so we could spend some time together
and do all kinds of distracting activities!

picnics and bookstores are some of our absolute favorite things in the world,
and i can honestly say i only thought about dc three times that whole day,
which is a sure sign we were pretty successful, if you ask me. :)

the day was very simple,
but i love simple.
simple makes me happy...
and real love is simple, am i right?

adam cannot be serious. cameras amplify that.
but take note of adam's amazing thrifted picnic basket.
it has adventure written all over it!

p.s. this was filmed & edited using the 8mm and imovie apps on my phone.song is everyday by buddy holly.

xo.

wenzi wedding in pictures

kenzi + weston just make sense.

being a bridesmaid is awesome.

weddings are one of the best things to happen to mankind.

love is grand.

get ready for a stolen picture overload!
totally jacked these pictures from kenzi's aunt, shantelle young, on facebook...
which explains the grainy quality (dern you fb!).
trust me,
she's kind of good at taking pictures. ;)

enjoy looking at two people in love!

get jealous because we totally recreated this moment. 

and a wonderful instagram collage.

(@ayleyyasuko)

official hashtag: #wesandkenz

xo.

if i could go to 3 weddings weekly, i would.

this beautiful girl is married!

i love love.
i love weddings.
marriage is so beautiful.
human beings were meant to be married and in love.

first dances,
cake cutting,
kissing,
bouquet tossing...

weddings are a rare moment in life where the entire event is dedicated to happiness and love.
i love them dearly.

xo.

split screen

i love this little video.

adam & i were long distance for so long,
i can't help but lovingly reminisce about the morning phone calls during breakfast
(which was hard with the time difference!)
and the excitedness when one of us would be boarding on a plane that day to see the other.
plenty of "i'm seeing you in 8 hours!" and "i can't believe we are going to see each other ... today!"
and those first hugs when you'd finally see each other in the airport...
i'd often just drop my luggage and run to him (i'm sure the tsa were really happy about that...).
golly, i still get butterflies thinking about it!
especially that first time.
we had first met on the train in dc for maybe 20 minutes
and neither of us made a whole lot of eye contact during our small talk,
so meeting at the airport a few months later was nerve-wracking to say the least!

it's worth mentioning that this whole film was shot on a cell phone! enjoy!

 xo.

a few things you learn when you clean your boyfriend's room

• he has a TON of clothes
• most of these clothes he doesn't even wear. ever. 
• he apparently has a gameboy advance and didn't tell me!
• he writes people's email addresses on post-it notes... and there were a lot of them....
• he, for some reason, had 24 washcloths
• he has kept just about every ticket, receipt, note, & memento from everything we have done together in a little box underneath his bed
• he is a member of the NRA {yep, still waiting for an explanation for that one... doesn't own a gun!}
• he has little things written down on pieces of paper like "loves ranunculus flowers", "needs a new case for her computer" and "wants to go to tahiti" ;)
• in his spare time, apparently, he researches things like Descartes' Dualism and jots down various cryptic thoughts about life
• in 2004 a girl named amanda gave him her picture and signed the back, telling him "call me :)"
• he keeps his baptism certificate and instax shots of the day right next to his bed
• he has a LOT of vintage ties
• he has SO many little trinkets that people have given him when he has helped them. he has a hand-painted miniature gourd, three sketches from an old woman, a weird looking ipad thing, a bunch of certificates for free food, a few books, and dozens of thank you notes. i had no idea about any of it. 
• he has a couple rough drafts of a letter he wrote to my mom telling her how much he admires her
• he has a bunch of little post-it notes and business cards of places he wants to go {which are now on the to-do list :) }
• he really likes comic books
• he really likes manchester orchestra
• he had some super rad sketches of flowers and trees that i've never seen before
• he keeps hair elastics, bobby pins, and little rubber bands in his change cup on his nightstand. i'm notorious for losing my hair elastics. i always ask if i left my elastic at his house. he always says yes and runs up to his room and grabs one for me. i've realized that i've probably only left a couple at his house. there were probably ten in the cup. brand new. 
• he had a little doodle hiding in a notebook saying "mrs. ayley reid"

this boy keeps everything. he's a major memory hoarder. he needs a little balance.. but it is kind of great because my memory isn't the best. 

i found that his bedroom describes him perfectly. 

at first glance it just looks like it's all over the place and unorganized. 

there are only a few things hanging on the wall 

and nothing that openly states "this is what i'm all about". 

but then you start going through it and you find little pieces of awesome 

and you start to sew this image of a person 

who loves to help and doesn't boast, 

who loves music and who is really good at drawing, 

who is searching into the soul and what it means to be alive, 

who loves and cares dearly about the people around him,

and who keeps important little memories and significant moments in his life close to him. 

you realize that this person is so dedicated to the people around him that he wants to fill his whole world with things that remind him of them. 

i love adam reid so much. 

if i may be frank... pt 2

remember this post?

well there were some magical things to be said about this.
too magical to hide in the comments section {and written on paper at my house}.

firstly please enjoy what adam had to say...

"so often the focus is on the human experience... and that's an excuse as well: "well, i'm only human", like reducing your existence to just the human experience is excusable! the love between two "humans" can only go so far. it can only touch the physical pieces... hair, makeup, clothes, kisses, etc. to me those are just the cherry on top of it all. love that transcends all of that is the only kind for me. it's harder work to move past a human love and move to love of the souls. that is what is rewarding. plus, if someone has a problem with my sweats and my love of in-n-out, they can bounce."

miki:
"...There are still so many territories that are untouched in our relationship, we are supper happy and that's all that truly matters right? I think every relationship is different and in the end if you're happy you're good"

kelli:
"you can't overemphasize the importance of being your true self with your true lover. that's what makes it enriched and real... everyone's life is different and everyone does what works for them... don't let something you don't know shake your faith in something you do know. you know you love each other, and you never know what lies ahead. just love each other more and more each passing day. "

sara:
"I do think about this. Especially when now our lives are already crazy, add kids on top of that and it is going to be off the charts! Equal parts awesome and exhausting. But here is this. I believe there is a difference between being comfortable and being real. Not as in, "I'm just being realistic here" because that phrase is never followed by anything positive. But as in, you are showing each other the real you. I feel great wearing makeup and I feel great without it. I would choose to wear comfy clothes most of the time because I like being able to move, to just, be. Those are part of the real me. I feel like the more comfortable you get with each other, the more ok you are being the real you around each other. And that to me, is one of my biggest goals - to be true to myself. And Trey is the person I am my truest self with. I loooove getting dressed up and going somewhere special, going on dates, and being romantic. And that is so so important! It makes it that much sweeter when we do something extraordinary. I could write a whole separate post on how I important I feel things like that are. Being comfortable means getting creative and recognizing that you do need that spontaneity and romance in your life. I think problems arise when one or both people don't realize that they need those moments. But I will tell you this, I have been in love with Trey since I was 18 years old, and he still gives me the butterflies. And now that we are in that BFF with Benefits stage (which is TERRIFIC BTW), we get to know each other on such a more minute level. Instead of figuring out that your love thinks you look great with that certain hairstyle, you figure out that in that millisecond you saw something flicker across their face, you knew what they were thinking. Learning about each other is limitless - because we are constantly changing. So I dare any of us to say that we know absolutely all there is to know about the person we love most. Showing your real self to people - everyone sees bits and pieces of the real you - some more than others - but showing your real self is terrifying. Scrubbing the makeup off of your soul, so to speak, leaves you bare. It leaves you you. And when you can show that to someone, and show them you, and they can do the same back...I don't think there is anything more intimate, or beautiful. That is all."

if i may be frank...

after reading this article,
my love and i got to wondrin'...
are we too comfortable?

granted, we never really had a "normal" relationship.
being separated by over 2,000 miles kind of saw to that.
we would talk for hours on the phone each day,
probably over-sharing
and spending our precious-personal-secret tokens a little too early in the relationship.
when we would see each other,
we'd stay at each other's houses for one to two weeks at a time.
there was no "pick ya up around 8!" or "let's meet at the restaurant around 7!" with us.
we'd sleep under the same roof,
say our goodnights in bedroom doorways,
&get ready under the same roof, meeting each other before dates in our respective kitchens,
communicating through-out... things like "hey, can i borrow some toothpaste?" or "why is my hair being so frizzy in this DC humidity?!".
pre-marital morality and modesty aside,
we kinda didn't get the luxury of the privacies that come from a relationship that blooms within driving distance of each other.

on this day,
adam has been living in utah for 537 days,
so we've had plenty of time to get used to "normal" dating rituals,
and yet we choose not to.
we still watch strings of movies until way past curfew,
we still stay up all night talking.

even now,
since adam is such a city boy and never got a driver's license,
i will generally pick him up right after work,
he will bring a change of clothes,
and we will go to my house and get ready to head out.
i rarely wear makeup now.
we both chill out in sweats regularly.

all of this makes us now wonder...
are we too comfortable?

i mean... even marshall and lily waited years and years before peeing in front of each other.
not to mention, i know a girl who has been married for two years now
and her husband still hasn't seen her without makeup.

adam and i are so open about just about everything,
and we're not even married.
it made us wonder...
if we were lucky enough to get married
and we were blessed to be able to have children,
how would this help or hinder our relationship?

do not get me wrong,
we still date each other.
we still write each other little notes
and send emails throughout the day just to say i love you.
we still get dolled up a couple times per month and do something enriching and cultured.

right now, we're just so into "us", "we", "ours", and the like
that we do just about everything together, tell each other everything, finish each other's sentences,
and all that other adorable stuff that we are just learning may actually be harmful to our love.

we both feel that we've moved past the initial infatuation phase and are in "best friends who get to support and love each other and also make out all the time" territory,
which kind of rocks.

but still,
this has all left us a little freaked.

so, friends...
what are your thoughts?
is there a point where you can get too comfortable?
is there such thing as too comfortable?
we were thinking that too-comfortable is a phrase that, when applied to couches, pillows, and beds, means that it's wonderful and fluffy... and the only thing that would make it "too comfortable" would be it's wonderous, seductive softness that is tempting you away from doing homework or getting out of bed.
thoughts on that? did i just accidentally create a metaphor that you are about to interpret?

opinions?
impressions?
words of advice?
interpretations?
perspectives?
need another synonym for "opinion"?
make your choice.

we'd appreciate it ever so much!

love in the 21st century

while i was in california,
adam & i had a text conversation about refusing to have a 21st century relationship.


when i met adam,
he had an ancient flip phone, no texting, no facebook, no twitter, no pinterest... nada.
he would call me when i just wanted to text.
he would stop phone conversations and say, "hold on to that thought, let's talk about this in person."
he's a tech whiz who doesn't like using technology.
 in relationships, at least.


i, on the other hand,
am much easier to reach through email, text, facebook, & twitter.
it's because of me that adam has those things.


i think we can both agree that this kind of technology is amazing.
it's a marvelous invention that expands networking,
but as it applies to relationships, it makes things so easy and the challenge sort of falls away.


adam & i have old souls.
we decided that we owe it to ourselves to go back to the days


where you'd wait by the phone for what seemed like hours for someone to call,
and the, "hello, may i speak to ____, please?",
where you couldn't just browse the menu {aka facebook} to find a date,
where a girl wore a boy's letterman jacket or class ring to show they were going steady,
where you'd get to know someone over a soda, not through a screen,
where you'd pass notes
and carve your names in tree bark.


they'd go dancing
or up to make-out point
or to a diner for a milkshake.


back then, the now-familiar word "post" was commonly used to describe mail,
and "tweet" was simply the sound of a bird.


the whole time seems to come with a sort of humility and simplicity.
it also seems incredibly sweet and romantic.


dating is remarkably similar,
but romantic little gestures and the importance of effort and person-to-person contact
have fallen away a bit.


we're also quite glad that many things of this old time have fallen away.
i never really talk about this,
but adam & i wouldn't really have been allowed to date back then.
for obvious reasons.
we wouldn't have been able to pursue a long-distance relationship
and we wouldn't have the means to love across 2,008 miles, really.


obviously, we were born in this time for a reason,
but we simply can't ignore that pull inside of us that longs for sock-hops and greasers.


so we made a pact to not drown our love in computers and cell phones,
enjoy fresh flowers and a good malt more often,
and i stole his old work jacket. {same thing, right? :) }


what do you think?
what are some of the pros and cons of love in this century?

{left photo via; right photo via}

{also, let it be known that i have nothing against vegas weddings. i do oppose the get-rich-quick, instant oatmeal, and i-need-it-now way of thinking, however. that is all.}