no time like the present.

i'm realizing the importance of living for the now.
NOWNESS.
not that you should avoid devoting your attention to those radio advertisements for 401k programs,
but there is so much value in the moment you're living as you're reading this.
i guess there is just a lot of value in the simple presence of someone
and it's increasingly rare in my life that i am able to feel this.

i feel bombarded by passive activities because nearly everything in this world has become easier
and to resist participation in these games is an art form.

so,
i'm resolving to be present in all my many shapes and forms.
i'm making a commitment to show my face in the homes of others more often
and to use my fingers to dial a phone number instead of texting.
i'm going to try to be present in everything i do:
work, school, homework, walking bruno, laying in bed next to my husband....
you name it.

most of all,
i want to be more of a presence in the world.
i want my feet to have walked many places, old and new,
and to know every twist and turn of the city i live in.
i want to leave a ghostly trail of myself through my explorations.

i want a relationship with the world,
one where she loves me back for taking the time to get to know her personally.
life doesn't pass you by,
you do it to yourself.

i have a feeling that this melancholic version of myself will fade away into the background as i find the freedom that is wholehearted living, exactly where i am meant to live and exactly when i'm supposed to.
the world is begging me to immerse myself in the depths of what she has to offer.

and even just speaking about it makes me feel....
i don't know....

free.

xo.

you have exactly one life.

in light of some recent (sad, yet spectacular) news,
and in light of my doodling this in my journal last week,
and light of my watching this amazing video last night...

i am forever done with wasting time.

sometimes things aren't going to make sense,
especially to other people.
sometimes you just aren't going to have plans.
sometimes your plans are going to change.

but BY GOLLY... your life is going to be amazing.

so if you want to own a bull mastiff and live in a cottage in the woods,
or if you want to learn to play guitar and perform in a night club,
or if you want to master yoga (again, see amazing video above),
or you want to live in new york city with your new husband,
or you want to learn to dance,
or you want to be blonde,
or you want to backpack in europe...

make. it happen. 

if you want to do something in your life,
do it.
no excuses.
make it happen.

get that job you always wanted.
postpone school to spend time in europe.
finish school faster if you love where you are going.
wear that sequin dress for no reason.
dye your hair blue.
send snail mail.
learn to sing.
move to australia if you so choose!

in your life,
you will do
everything you will ever do.

so next week i'm going to ride a jet-ski.
i'm going to spend some time in the mountains,
and i'm going to look at schools outside of the state.
i'm going to talk to old friends
and i'm going to wear my diamond necklace for a casual occasion.

i don't think i will get tired of this thought:
you have exactly ONE LIFE in which to do everything you will ever do.
now is the time to do it.

it's amazing to think that even skills you learned as a child
are going to stay with you.
i want to be ninety years old,
and know how to sing, dance, play the accordion, use an SLR, reprogram a computer, fix a car, speak another language, solve a 5x5 rubik's cube, hold a handstand for 2 minutes, and have six children who are superstars.

you have one body. master it.
you have one mind. nurture it.
learn everything.
do everything.
be everything.

my. oh. my... life is beautiful.

xo.

minimalism: on thriving.

perhaps the most striking revelation for me this past week,
has been through flowers.

i cannot even begin to explain my connection to the natural world,
so i won't.
just know that it is integral to my soul.

i held a seed this weekend.
just a tiny seed
and i thought it was marvelous.


everything that seed is going to be,
is inside of it.
everything it needs to be, to begin,
is inside of it.

it is equipped to thrive.

i am fueled by desires to add external means to enrich my life:
beauty products, strange medicines, topical treatments, therapeutic devices, etc.

the world around begs us to add and add to our self-help-gadget agglomerations,
insisting that we simply need trivial objects and unnecessary assistance simply to maintain,
that humans are, as they are, incomplete...

and yet,
everything i am going to be is inside of me.
everything i need to grow and survive
and to THRIVE
is inside of me already.

i am equipped to thrive.

place yourself in the sunshine,
and amongst nourishing things
and you are going to become... everything.

resist the urges of supplemental commodities,
because everything you need to sprout is inside of you
at this very moment.
you are wonderful and strong and capable as it is.

how powerful a notion.

xo.

minimalism: on discarding

nothing taught me about discarding like my hair.

i love long hair.
i've been growing my hair out with the intention of donating it after i got married.
this goal is written in all kinds of goal lists around my room.
i love braids. i love buns. i loved my long, curly hair.
i didn't want it short.

i never, NEVER thought i would have short hair again in my life,
but when i dyed my hair blonde last year,
in addition to my low-maintenance summer hair routine,
it just... died.

a year later,
and thousands of hair masks, hundreds of google searches,
and more attempted remedies and fixes than i can count,
i was still dealing with something past the point of no return.
it caused me daily frustration.
i could never wear it down,
i could barely comb it,
and it just felt like straw!

after hours of deliberation,
rather than trying to save my locks,
i said goodbye to them.

i could have completely kept on trying to save them.
i could have saved my long hair and kept braiding it every day,
but i didn't it.

i didn't give up.
this wasn't just a quick fix.

i gave myself permission to let go,
to rewrite my life,
to discard something dead
even when i didn't want to.

i mean... it's the advice everyone would give someone when in this situation,
but it's so difficult to do when it's you.

we aren't really talking about hair anymore...

discarding is a choice that isn't always easy to make,
but carrying around useless bricks in your pockets serves no purpose but to weigh you down.

if anything i have learned that
letting go is a choice. 

it isn't easy,
this i am sure of,

but making that choice was better than just waiting for things to right themselves,
because inaction is also a choice.
adhering to the played out "time heals all wounds" adage isn't the best decision sometimes.

shedding something dead and useless to me
empowered me to make that choice more often in the future.

guess what? i love my hair.
i am not looking back.

xo.

sharing minimalism: in the moment

(photo found via papertissue, by rosie hardy)

one of the biggest struggles in this journey has been learning to be present.
in fact,
just yesterday i found myself in the car crying and stressing about the return of my parents
and getting everything cleaned back up before then (again, running a household full of people is hard.)
i frequently reflect back on high school and want to cringe
and apologize to everyone for the way i used to be.
it's so easy to get caught up in what happened yesterday and what is happening tomorrow.
the lack of whole presence can be a source of major stress.

the past is unchangeable!
until a time machine is invented,
we would do well to avoid dwelling on it.
in fact,
the only reason i should really focus on it
is to make sure i don't repeat mistakes
and to reminisce on wonderful memories.

in regards to stress,
the past is useless to me.

the future?
the future is a result of our actions today.
act today for success in the future.
avoid needless worry.

even ten minutes is in the past.
think about yourself at this moment...
are you happy? is anything wrong?
personally, i'm very happy at the moment.
if we focus on the moment at hand,
we will find that we are actually very happy individuals!
life is nothing if but moments strung together,
and happy moments mean a happy and whole life.

staying present,
enjoying where i am at the moment, what is happening, what smells are in the air, how this chair feels against my back...
it's magic for my mood levels!

and the best part about it?
the power over my feelings of wellbeing.
if i don't like what the moment brings,
when it's over i can put it behind me,
learn from it,
and focus on the actions that will take me to the future!

and as always... deep breathing and mindful living work wonders.

happy monday!

(more minimalist posts here.)

xo.

sharing minimalism: on worrying

i'm mainly documenting this little journey for myself,

as i'm awful at staying organized and writing things down on paper

(thank you, internet)

but if you'd like to gather a little inspiration from it,

that's great!

i mean, hello... i am posting this publicly on the worldwideweb. 

i think step one of this process for me was altering the things that were swimming around in my mind.

if your house were deteriorating, 

and you simply put boards or paint or new drywall over the deteriorating walls,

would that really fix the problem?

no way! 

i believe it's the same with managing possessions and the world around you. 

if you simply change the exterior, or your surroundings, you won't see a lasting change. 

change your thoughts. 

change your views. 

change the way you think and see and feel. 

i found myself asking, "how do you avoid stress?"

this is my little solution.

i'm writing it down, posting it... now i have to really hold myself to it. 

i allow myself a set time in the day to worry and stress about things. 

i "schedule" it, if you will, generally in the early afternoon. 

that way, i can get it all out of the way and use my time more wisely.

if something negative comes up during the day, i allow myself to write it down for later

but i don't allow it to interrupt my day.

this way, i won't be distracted when moments of happiness or potential efficiency strike! 

obviously there are exceptions,

but i find that little things turn into big things turn into headaches turn into a person making themselves ill over something that can just wait! 

i spent too much time feeling overwhelmed and stressed about all that i had to do, little responsibilities i had forgotten to take care of, or things that happened at work. not good!

during this little time, i simply make a list of, or speak aloud to myself, all the things that are currently weighing on me and what i can do to fix them. 

i make a plan of action. 

i'm finding that even when something comes up after my worry period, i'm much less prone to think negatively about it, and therefore can maintain my feelings of wellness for a much longer period! 

getting it all out of the way makes the majority of my day so much lighter!

i swear by it. 

(one more step to getting organized! i'm labeling all past and future musings on this new lifestyle here!)

xo.