i'm realizing the importance of living for the now.
not that you should avoid devoting your attention to those radio advertisements for 401k programs,
but there is so much value in the moment you're living as you're reading this.
i guess there is just a lot of value in the simple presence of someone
and it's increasingly rare in my life that i am able to feel this.
i feel bombarded by passive activities because nearly everything in this world has become easier
and to resist participation in these games is an art form.
i'm resolving to be present in all my many shapes and forms.
i'm making a commitment to show my face in the homes of others more often
and to use my fingers to dial a phone number instead of texting.
i'm going to try to be present in everything i do:
work, school, homework, walking bruno, laying in bed next to my husband....
you name it.
most of all,
i want to be more of a presence in the world.
i want my feet to have walked many places, old and new,
and to know every twist and turn of the city i live in.
i want to leave a ghostly trail of myself through my explorations.
i want a relationship with the world,
one where she loves me back for taking the time to get to know her personally.
life doesn't pass you by,
you do it to yourself.
i have a feeling that this melancholic version of myself will fade away into the background as i find the freedom that is wholehearted living, exactly where i am meant to live and exactly when i'm supposed to.
the world is begging me to immerse myself in the depths of what she has to offer.
and even just speaking about it makes me feel....
i don't know....