Thursday, December 6, 2012

a tender hearted girl.


i don't like talking about myself in this way... but i think what i'm feeling right now needs to be documented.

my psychology professor brought his wife to class today. 
she is a cancer survivor and just an all around sweetheart. 
she gave us a little speech about how everyone is a survivor of something,
how pain is good for us,
how rocks aren't polished unless they get bits of them knocked off. 
it really got to me.

after class,
everyone rushed up to tell her how amazing she was
and to thank her for inspiring them.
as usual, i slipped into wallflower mode: 
i avoided the rush 
and decided to look at the pictures on the wall of the past student body officers from 1960 to now.

i approached her after the crowd had dulled 
still with tears in my eyes,
feeling pretty embarrassed about them streaming down my cheek.

i apologized for letting my emotions get the best of me
and told her how touched i was by her words.

she looked at me with intense sincerity and said,
"i noticed you earlier in the class, sitting silently and observing everyone and everything.
you are going to do good things with your life.
i don't know how i know this, but i just do. 
i feel it.
because you are a tender hearted girl
and the world needs more of those."

she then hugged me
and told me that i should always be proud of that because it is who i am.

i cannot fully comprehend the impact this has had on me,
because i am still in the processing stage,
but those words have changed me.

i'm tender hearted...

i'm not overly sensitive.
i'm not creepy or a "stalker" for appreciating things with a great magnitude.
i'm not a psycho, crazy, emotional woman.


i understand i only spoke with this woman for three minutes,
but it has shed a new light on who i am.


i am a tender-hearted girl
who is capable of so much love
and who is also capable of feeling so much hurt.
my tender heart
makes me love deeply
and hurt deeply.

the world wants me to believe that being tender hearted is a bad thing
and i for so long have believed it.

i am sensitive
and i am emotional
and i do express myself a lot
and i do put my heart outside of my own body so that others might experience it
but that also makes me easier to wound.

i will need to be protected and shielded in my lifetime
and the pain i've experienced in the last month will not be the worst i will face

and i don't care anymore
because i now know that the world needs me as a tender hearted girl.

Tender Hearts Club now recruiting members.




xo.

12 comments:

  1. I'll be your VP, Ayley.

    Kind of eerie, but I had a very similar experience to this when I was coming home from Ecuador. I was having some issues leaving that experience and some culture shock when I came home and a girl who I was flying home with noticed and just gave me a hug and said "You've got a very tender heart."

    It kind of changed my world, too.

    You're a great girl, Ayley. And I completely agree with that madam. You're going places. You're doing good things.

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  2. How do you have so much wisdom for one so young? Your spirit must be old and experienced. I would love to be known as tender-hearted. What a compliment. Love you!

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  3. Tender Hearts Club member salute!

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  4. i'm totes a member. i looooooooove this post times one million. i loooooooove it. long live tender hearts club

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  5. I want someone to make a tender hearts club shirts. Or snuggies. Maybe that would be more appropriate.

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  6. You are always so inspired with the best words. I just adore you!

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  7. hey, I'm a tender hearted girl too, you know :)

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  8. I just love this and can definitely relate.

    I want one of these snuggies

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  9. what a wonderful woman to see that in you so quickly, i loved this post. i love that youre proud to be tender hearted. its true, the world makes us think of things in a negative way that should really not be negative at all. be tender hearted, its a beautiful way to live.

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  10. snuggies or onesies?
    i'm a member.
    is that okay prezzie?

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  11. This is beautiful. Seriously. What a touching moment. Not to sound cheesy, but this is going to be one of those moments that you'll forever remember. This is just beautiful.

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