i don't like talking about myself in this way... but i think what i'm feeling right now needs to be documented.
my psychology professor brought his wife to class today.
she is a cancer survivor and just an all around sweetheart.
she gave us a little speech about how everyone is a survivor of something,
how pain is good for us,
how rocks aren't polished unless they get bits of them knocked off.
it really got to me.
everyone rushed up to tell her how amazing she was
and to thank her for inspiring them.
as usual, i slipped into wallflower mode:
i avoided the rush
and decided to look at the pictures on the wall of the past student body officers from 1960 to now.
i approached her after the crowd had dulled
still with tears in my eyes,
feeling pretty embarrassed about them streaming down my cheek.
i apologized for letting my emotions get the best of me
and told her how touched i was by her words.
she looked at me with intense sincerity and said,
"i noticed you earlier in the class, sitting silently and observing everyone and everything.
you are going to do good things with your life.
i don't know how i know this, but i just do.
i feel it.
because you are a tender hearted girl
and the world needs more of those."
and told me that i should always be proud of that because it is who i am.
i cannot fully comprehend the impact this has had on me,
because i am still in the processing stage,
but those words have changed me.
i'm tender hearted...
i'm not overly sensitive.
i'm not creepy or a "stalker" for appreciating things with a great magnitude.
i'm not a psycho, crazy, emotional woman.
i understand i only spoke with this woman for three minutes,
but it has shed a new light on who i am.
i am a tender-hearted girl
who is capable of so much love
and who is also capable of feeling so much hurt.
my tender heart
makes me love deeply
and hurt deeply.
the world wants me to believe that being tender hearted is a bad thing
and i for so long have believed it.
i am sensitive
and i am emotional
and i do express myself a lot
and i do put my heart outside of my own body so that others might experience it
but that also makes me easier to wound.
i will need to be protected and shielded in my lifetime
and the pain i've experienced in the last month will not be the worst i will face
and i don't care anymore
because i now know that the world needs me as a tender hearted girl.
Tender Hearts Club now recruiting members.