i'll order the grilled life w/ a side of boring, plz

What made the other day a good day

+ was sliding into the carport in front of our apartment right when this song faded out
and remembering that i forgot the only pair of shoes i owned at work
and not caring a bit about it

+ was not having to insert my key into the lock because my husband was ready to open the door and throw his arms around me with a hearty "Hey, sport!" and a few forehead kisses for good measure

+ was this very same husband asking me to serenade him on the ukulele and me obliging, playing La Vie En Rose three times in a row, followed by some Lana that ... didn't go very well

+ was tripping over clothes, dog toys, and Peace Tea cans on the way to that broken couch of ours to talk about how we are going to save money now that I quit my job and laughing that at least I would have more time to pick up the things I am tripping over

+ was sitting on the floor watching a Dakota Fanning movie and legitimately yelling at the TV about how unrealistic the movie was because, first of all, her parents didn't seem to care where she was the entire movie and second of all she spent nearly the whole film in the sun and didn't have to apply sunscreen to her porcelain skin once and was burned a total of zero times despite waking up suddenly and hopping on her bike to the beach more than one time. Maybe she has a vaccine I don't know about, or maybe I just think about skincare a lot.

Anyway.
The unglamorous life that looks terrible when you take pictures of it is my favorite kind these days,
because for some reason what bleach trays and way too crispy chocolate chip cookies are doing for my soul these days is so unbelievably fulfilling that i cannot possibly portray it in any other way than with words.

Sure, there are certainly those beautiful moments where your hair looks especially lovely
and you are barefoot, wearing your favorite dress in a place you rarely frequent
but those moments don't mean as much to me right now in life,
they don't hold as much weight as picking dog fur off my husband's shoulders as he gets up from the carpet from playing with Bruno and letting him lick his face
or calling the IRS for the seventeenth time about our tax return because it sort of feels like a secret mission that we are involved in and the hold music they play isn't half bad,
even when you have to listen to it for four hours (true story).

I'm learning that having it "all together" doesn't look the same on everybody.
I like it.
A lot.

It makes me love all of the human beings and all of their stories
and all of their wrinkled, cat hair-covered sweaters and messy haircuts
and wonder about all the things that make them feel whole that aren't measurable by other people like me.
You know,
like my bleach trays and bad Lana del Rey renditions.

I love being human.

xo.

in the realm of inspiration.

i had the most inspirational, beautiful weekend.
it was one of those weekends that wakes you up by pouring a huge tub of ice water all over your sleeping, paralyzed self.

the week itself was very rough.
adam & i lost a lot of money at the fault of another person,
i spent the whole week sick,
and adam had to make some very important career choices in a short amount of time.

it was a doozy, i'll tell ya what.

then the weekend came,
a weekend where we did nothing significant ourselves, but observed the significant in the world around us.

we felt stuck in our lives
and what do you do when you feel stuck?
you go people watching.
so we did.

you learn a lot from watching people walk by.
you really do.
it was a big deal for us to get out of the house,
taking a break from cleaning, homework, and other obligations,
just to observe other people living their lives.
it somehow unglues you from the walls you're often backed against.

since we didn't have money to buy prepared or easily preparable food for the weekend,
we made our own bread and got creative with what we already had in the pantry for our meals
and it's sort of terrible that we didn't do that sooner
which contributed to that big ole wake up call i mentioned up there.

on saturday, i attended the soulescape show with both my sisters and our friend, adyson,
which was absolutely, beyond-words incredible.
all of us were speechless, and each of us said "i can't even!" at least once following their last bow.

after the show, i had the absolute pleasure of meeting justin giles,
the man who choreographed a piece that was posted on youtube
that i hold personally responsible for making me stick with dance
and becoming a dance teacher.
it was a big moment for me.
also, matt luck.
yowza!

that same day,
adam found out he has the opportunity to work under a well-educated chef
and learn a thing or two about cooking + running a fast-paced restaurant,
something that he so sorely desires.

on sunday,
we spent the whole day with family
talked about adam's birthday (this wednesday!),
spent very little time on any sort of technology,
and made a few goals for the month.
i even sang some bon iver for adam with my sick, raspy voice without getting all weird about doing so
like i usually do.

after a week that made us feel like we'd been ripped from the wall,
it felt amazing knowing how unplugged we can be
and the creativity that arose from it was unbelievably invigorating.

i want to dance.
but more than that, i want to choreograph a show.
we want to move. away. somewhere far away.
we want to bake, cook, and create more.
we want to spend more time away from technology.
most of all, we want to simplify.

this unexpected complication of our lives has forced us to realize how much simpler we need to live
and how simple our wants and needs are.
somewhere along the way, someone told us differently.

it's not like we learned anything new,
just that what we want out of life is so very attainable right now
and won't always be that way.

i saw this video posted online this weekend as well,
and it just nailed that coffin shut.

we are just so ready to work hard on life and squeeze everything we can out of it
because we are just figuring out how this thing works
and we have a "bring on the mistakes!" approach to it all.

tell me you're experiencing this, too!
and tell me you're just as afraid as we are
but we can talk about it over this homemade bread i made
because we have half a loaf left and someone needs to come help us eat it.

thank heavens for inspiration.
what else makes a person feel more alive, am i right?

xo.

maaaybe we are in the market for a support group.

because it's really hard to get things a-goin'
when you both work a lot
me = four jobs (!)
him = 60 hours a week...

not to mention school (blah)
and schedules that don't coordinate
so we hafta try to squeeze little twenty minute dates sooooomewhere between 2-4 pm
or end up staying up all night jumping on the bed (mostly me showing adam for the umpteenth time that i've been working on my toe touches) or catching up on breaking bad instead of sleeping
(not complaining about that. i'm not, yo.)

and the newlywed-typical stark, utterly empty apartment that just begs for furniture
so you do the ikea dance
and regret it (sorta)
because how many pieces are in this stinkin' dresser box?
and why, oh, why can't these assembly instructions include words?

but then there are those amazing moments
where you're eating rice in the living room on the carpet you wish you had a vacuum for
and giggling so hard that you accidentally spit some out
but being too happy to care
because you're married
and u can't touch dis.

and the first time either one of you says
"see you at home"
and both of you can't even contain the joy that brings
so you text the exact same
"i love hearing/saying that"
to each other.
rad.

still,
our newlywed fever is all-encompassing
and we should probably find some like-minded people to start a dialogue with...
ones who are also broom-less and blender-less
who may have broken a nail or two trying to assemble a SELJE nightstand
and who also find themselves playing lady and the tramp with twizzlers
or, you know, scratching everything in your apartment and basically forfeiting your deposit before even getting started and sharing a good cry about it.
the usual stuff.

if you hear of anything,
let us know.
we are pretty serious about this.
fur realz.

xo.