Monday, November 12, 2012

how quickly things change.

i was walking out of target last week
wearing snow boots and shielding myself from the flurry of snow
and i thought about how the last time i was there it was the fourth of july
and it was summer
and the sun was bright
and i was wearing sandals.

i was deleting emails from a friend from over a year ago
who was talking about how she hadn't heard from her boyfriend
in about three weeks
and asked for advice from me
and now she is married to a wonderful (different) man
and i was in my email at that moment asking for advice from her.

i was walking around post-sandy new york city on november 2nd
enjoying the quiet air and lack of crowds,
cautiously avoiding debris and walking everywhere due to the lack of subway service
thinking about how on october 25th, just one week earlier,
i could barely move around in the crowds
and the only debris was typical nyc garbage.

i picked up a land line
and couldn't remember the last time i had used it.
since then, i've made all my important phone calls it.

when i went to collect my things out of my totaled car,
i remembered that the last time i had opened its door,
i was heading to school with my sister,
very happy and proud of a photo assignment i was to turn in,
which is now bent like the frame of my beetle.

one day you are thick as thieves with someone,
and the next they could be ignoring you with no explanation.

one day you could have really long hair,
and then next it could be short.

one day you are passing a class,
and with one major slip up
you could fail the whole thing.

one day you can have someone,
the next they could be gone.

things change
and i love it
and hate it
at the same time.

but i sort of like the fact that the lights are on in the left photo above
because that's how i feel...
same spot. same person. different stories.

i remember that person on the right.
i remember her worries and fears
her triumphs and her insecurities.
i remember what was important and what she valued above all else
and that person is still me
but i don't know her anymore like i used to.
i've evolved.

but, you know...
important things don't change so much as evolve
and i think Change is the greatest metaphysical teacher i've had in this lifetime.



  1. I can't get over the pictures either. One of my favorite posts from you. I'm loving everything about you lately. I can't get enough.

  2. "things change
    and i love it
    and hate it
    at the same time."

    ayley, everything about this. anna was right. she is right. everything about you and this post and your words. they're all just so good.

  3. are all my ditto comments so lazy? i couldn't pull it off if everyone else hadn't already stolen all the words from my mouth.


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