Tuesday, February 21, 2012

love in the 21st century

while i was in california,
adam & i had a text conversation about refusing to have a 21st century relationship.

when i met adam,
he had an ancient flip phone, no texting, no facebook, no twitter, no pinterest... nada.
he would call me when i just wanted to text.
he would stop phone conversations and say, "hold on to that thought, let's talk about this in person."
he's a tech whiz who doesn't like using technology.
 in relationships, at least.

i, on the other hand,
am much easier to reach through email, text, facebook, & twitter.
it's because of me that adam has those things.

i think we can both agree that this kind of technology is amazing.
it's a marvelous invention that expands networking,
but as it applies to relationships, it makes things so easy and the challenge sort of falls away.

adam & i have old souls.
we decided that we owe it to ourselves to go back to the days

where you'd wait by the phone for what seemed like hours for someone to call,
and the, "hello, may i speak to ____, please?",
where you couldn't just browse the menu {aka facebook} to find a date,
where a girl wore a boy's letterman jacket or class ring to show they were going steady,
where you'd get to know someone over a soda, not through a screen,
where you'd pass notes
and carve your names in tree bark.

they'd go dancing
or up to make-out point
or to a diner for a milkshake.

back then, the now-familiar word "post" was commonly used to describe mail,
and "tweet" was simply the sound of a bird.

the whole time seems to come with a sort of humility and simplicity.
it also seems incredibly sweet and romantic.

dating is remarkably similar,
but romantic little gestures and the importance of effort and person-to-person contact
have fallen away a bit.

we're also quite glad that many things of this old time have fallen away.
i never really talk about this,
but adam & i wouldn't really have been allowed to date back then.
for obvious reasons.
we wouldn't have been able to pursue a long-distance relationship
and we wouldn't have the means to love across 2,008 miles, really.

obviously, we were born in this time for a reason,
but we simply can't ignore that pull inside of us that longs for sock-hops and greasers.

so we made a pact to not drown our love in computers and cell phones,
enjoy fresh flowers and a good malt more often,
and i stole his old work jacket. {same thing, right? :) }

what do you think?
what are some of the pros and cons of love in this century?

{left photo via; right photo via}
{also, let it be known that i have nothing against vegas weddings. i do oppose the get-rich-quick, instant oatmeal, and i-need-it-now way of thinking, however. that is all.}


  1. I love this sweet post. Jared and I weren't even friends on facebook until we were practically engaged, because I hated the idea of people living in our relationship. I wanted to tell my friends we went on a romantic date, not let them see it on facebook when we "checked in". Also dating someone older than myself, he never likes to text, his calls are short, and he rarely is on facebook. It's nice. But then again I do like to email him and have him email back while we're at work.

  2. I like this post a lot, Ayley.

  3. that adam is a smart guy. once upon a time i liked a guy and then he went to hawaii for a week. we basically texted 24/7 and then he got home and things were weird. i figured out that i didn't like him afterall and i only liked our texting relationship. it was bad. but on the opposite side of things luke and i text alllll the time. almost daily. it's the easisest way for us to keep ourselves focused with school and work while keeping in contact and up to date on each others lives. i think it works for us being at a distance but if we lived closer it would definitely be more of a in person type thing. i often wish dating was like it was back then. especially the dancing part of dating. it was such a big deal to be asked to dance. it was never dirty and the music was so wonderful. i seriously wish dancing was now how it was then.


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