free{dumb}

hanging out with adam brings lots of perks
in the form of free stuff.

a trip to the movies will often result in free movie tickets, free popcorn, letting us try something new behind the counter or being able to leave the movie we're in and head to a different one if we don't like it {seriously!}.
a trip to mini's cupcakes downtown leads to free cupcakes, new recipes the baker is trying out, or free sodas.
a trip to the diner once led to us getting a free BOX of cinnamon rolls and some bear claws.
a trip to a small game store led to us getting some free glass coke bottles.
a trip to the thrift store led to adam getting six free ties and, for me, a pretty yellow plate.
once an airline let him change his flight reservation FOR FREE.
last time we went to get my bike fixed, i walked out of there with a free {super cool} water bottle.
he always seems to have coupons/vouchers/etc for free things at restaurants all over because he meets workers who hand over their employee perks!

he just starts talking to people
and they give him {us} free stuff!

adam is extroverted.
i am not.

but i reap the benefits.

i decided i seriously need to work on being more outgoing.
i started thinking about all of the people i admire.
99% of them are outgoing!

if you want to be a kind person,
you need to be proactive.

we watched a documentary the other night on the historical accuracy of Jesus' life
and an anthropologist described the place where Jesus set up camp.
the way he was describing it,
it was basically the NYC of the middle east.

lots of people,
lots of different kinds of people to reach
in a short distance.

gotta be where the action is.

so we went downtown
and i talked to people
and i ordered our food
and i remained calm in crowds
and i let adam be the one to sit back and take everything in.
it was hard for both of us,
but that's the beauty of it.

it's gonna hurt like growing pains.

whatever it is that you do,
try reversing the roles sometimes.

i saw a quote on pinterest,
"routine does not allow progress".

i'm not a routine kid, usually. actually routine is kind of a four letter word to me...
but when it comes to adam
i completely follow a routine.

i realized this when we were walking out of the restaurant and we were getting the "thanks for coming in" send-off from a hostess. i turned to smile politely at her, but said nothing. adam said nothing, either, so in the end i just awkwardly smiled at her for a brief moment as we walked out the door. i realized i rely on adam to say the "thank you" in return, and i always do the "smile politely and leave" part. so without adam speaking, i just get awkward.

DUMB, right?

why can't i be the one to speak sometimes?
can't think of a reason why... other than i don't wanna. it's hard.
but since when has that stopped any great person from doing anything??

so whatever it is that you do,
take a break & switch it up.

and this ends my personal story of how i learned i'm too dependent on the social side of my boyfriend.

adam is still super cool.
it's still almost christmas.
and i'm still trying to become a better person every day of my life.

it's all good.