don't stop to let it pass you by, you gotta look yourself in the eye and...

...well...
i asked adam,
"what are three things you wish you could change about me?"
without hesitation he responded,
"first thing: the way you view yourself".


i don't think i'm pretty.
i don't think i'm smart.
i'm not creative,
generous,
righteous,
or worthy of much.
adam hates that.
i should hate it too.


 {cue one of ayley's favorite songs as background music. open this in a new window}


i started thinking today...
"ayley.
you have much that you can credit yourself just by design."
i recalled a talk by President Monson i had read a few days earlier.
you are a woman, ayley,
and women are remarkable beings.
President Hinckley also had a few words to say about that:

“Woman is God’s supreme creation. Only after the earth had been formed, after the day had been separated from the night, after the waters had been divided from the land, after vegetation and animal life had been created, and after man had been placed on the earth, was woman created; and only then was the work pronounced complete and good.

“Of all the creations of the Almighty, there is none more beautiful, none more inspiring than a lovely daughter of God who walks in virtue with an understanding of why she should do so, who honors and respects her body as a thing sacred and divine, who cultivates her mind and constantly enlarges the horizon of her understanding, who nurtures her spirit with everlasting truth” (Ensign, Sept. 1988, 11)

that's you.

you owe it to God to honor his creation. 

right? right.
“Men, take care not to make women weep, for God counts their tears” (President Thomas S. Monson, Ensign, Nov. 1990, 47).

“God will hold us accountable if we neglect His daughters” (Ensign, Sept. 1988, 11).

ayley.

that's you.
except the "men" part.

don't make yourself cry. don't think less of yourself. don't neglect yourself.

also...

don't settle for anyone who will treat you with less than you deserve.

{but i feel like i don't deserve anything}

i recall a quote i heard once at a fireside:

"Young men that treat women with respect and admiration have no regrets–only rewards."

that's hard to expect respect and admiration when i can't even treat myself that way.

i always want to compare myself to others.

everyone else is so gorgeous and smart and creative.

moreso than i. 

man this entry is just quote central today.

here's another:
“For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.”

- 2 Corinthians 10:12

man oh man.

we naturally want to compare.

it's how we decide our favorite colors, who to marry, what to eat for breakfast, etc.

comparing all our choices and picking the best one.

that's how we do things on Earth.

God does not compare like that.

God will only compare us to ourselves.

ayley,

you should only be comparing yourself to yourself.

be the best YOU can be.

have confidence.

you are a woman.

you are a child of God.

everyone fails. everyone feels ugly. everyone has down moments. 

God isn't going to compare me to anyone but me,

so why should i?

why should i focus on anyone else doing that to me either?

i want to uphold and reach the full measure of my creation.

big task,

but the first step is embracing it. 

i'm tired of hearing adam say that i have a poor view of myself.

gary go, i love you:

"we are all miracles wrapped up in chemicals. we are incredible. don't take it for granted. we are all miracles." {maybe go and watch that video because it is lovely}

i gotta look myself in the eye and say,

"i am wonderful".

hard.

i'm scared to make that first look at myself.

scared that i will back out of it when i see something i don't like.

frustrating.

hard. 

ayley...

yes it's HARD

but not impossible.

so do it already.

no regrets, only rewards... right?

right. 

{photo via papertissue}