Thursday, April 5, 2012

when we were together

thanks to yesterday,
thanks to my sister,
and thanks to blaine & cooper,
this song (aka everyone and their mom's favorite song) has an entirely new meaning for me.

the first time i listened to it yesterday, i just had chills...
then halfway through the second time i burst into uncontrollable sobbing.

this song... it's too close for comfort now.
we were inseparable... we had such a deep bond...
then suddenly i don't know who he is anymore.
he never calls. he never texts.
i rarely even hear anything about him.
he uses the internet to write demeaning and untrue things about my family.
he seems to have forgotten every wonderful moment we shared together.
i have invested so much money and time helping him... just showing love for him,
but he treats me like a stranger, like i am plaguing him.
i have no regrets,
but it's so hard.
after everything we have been through,
i still love him and i want him in my life every day.

i miss my best friend, my buddy, my sleepover and giggle fits and make-believe comrade.
i miss my brother.
every day of my life is so hard without him.
i love him with all of my heart.
i will forever hate drugs for what they did to my family,
but i'm so grateful for the atonement and forgiveness.

in the meantime,
i will wish it weren't so
and spend a lot of time on my knees.
love is the answer. 
be sure to hug those who remain close to you today.
the sometimes fleeting relationships of this life are so precious.

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