the first time

the first time i ever did the tim tam slam, i was hooked.
the first time i ever went to dance class, i hated it.
the first time i went to dc, i cried and cried and wanted to go home.
the first time i really did my hair by myself, i went crazy with the pigtails.
the first time i went on a date, he told me he was gay {true story}.

the first time i met adam, i wanted to leave as soon as possible.

but...

the first time adam saw me, he stood there for a moment and just stared.
the first time he spoke to me, i could hear his voice cracking, wavering.
the first time i looked at him, he looked away and smiled nervously.
the first time i met him {again} he gave me the biggest and warmest hug i've ever received.
the first time we were alone together he couldn't keep a conversation going... just kept interjecting, "my word, you are beautiful."
the first time we kissed he wanted about seven "do-overs" just to kiss me again.
the first time he met my family, he said "i'm going to marry this girl."

i remember being embarrassed & uncomfortable throughout all of these things.
after all,
it was the FIRST TIME!
it was so soon. so sudden.

now in hindsight,
looking at that first picture we took together
where we were at my favorite building in SLC
and adam kept making fun of my sauron nails,
always touching me and making sure i was comfortable
reassuring me with his guiding spirit
that all was well,
just asking me to live in the moment...

i realize how absolutely smitten this boy was with me.
i'm so lucky.
so very blessed.

here's to many more firsts with my adam.