he never ever saw it coming at all. {incomplete until i find you}

i saw (500) Days of Summer today. 

again. 

this would be the third time. 

and at the moment i'm home feeling rather sick, both emotionally and physically. 

i don't know why. {well i know why, kindasortamaybe}  

and at this moment i'd like you to take the time out and play a little background music before you keep reading. 

but hurry back.

here. {but open it in a new window}

back? okay. let's do this.

it got me thinking a lot about soul mates.

did you heart just go all a-flutter? thought so.

what a lovely idea,

an idea that we have all been taught from a very young age.

i personally loved the idea.

honestly i didn't understand how soul mates could NOT exist.

someone out there who is the other half of your soul.

in fact...

if you've ever read plato's symposium...

he basically says that zeus made these powerful creatures with four arms, four legs, two faces, etc. but with one soul. he saw how powerful these creatures were and felt threatened. 

so, rather than kill them, he split them and placed them on the earth to reside apart. so everyone's soul is not fully complete without its other half.

that's when you are truly whole and powerful.

lovely.

{as soon as the song stops go back and start it over... it's a shorty but necessary if you want to keep reading}

what a journey it must be to find your other half.

what a feeling it must be to have found them

and know that they've been looking for you, too.

i fell in love with this idea growing up. it just makes sense.

i mean... 

what if cinderella hadn't had a fairy godmother to assist her in meeting her other half?

she'd still be cleaning for her stepmother.

snow white just wouldn't have woken up without her soulmate's kiss.

sleeping beauty would have stayed asleep if it hadn't been for her prince.

soul mates...

save you.

love you.

complete you.

the movie "the graduate" just didn't make sense to me.

there was no happy ending.

no one found their soul mate.

nonsense. what a silly movie.

suddenly, however,

no movie has made more sense to me than (500) days of summer.

does it have a happy ending?

yes and no.

it's real.

you could be in either position, summer or tom.

just see it if you haven't. please.

it's hard to find your soulmate, but when you find them you just know.

tired but true.

you may not know right away.

you may know in an instant.

you may be looking for a long time.

you may find them tomorrow.

you may suddenly realize the person you are with is the person you share a soul with, and you combine and become truly powerful.

you may never find them in this life.

you may have already found them.

they're looking for you, too.

what a difficult thing.

half of your soul is out there.

many of us give up.

i frankly want to.

i mean... you saw "the graduate", right?

it's hard!

how do you know?

i'm going to quote the movie now:

"Summer: I woke up one morning and I just knew. 

Tom: Knew what? 
Summer: What I was never sure of with you."

but what if you are "sure" and the other one isn't? 

what if it all falls apart?

then what??

again, i quote his little sister from the movie:

"Tom, I know you think she was the one, but I don't. Next time you look back, I think you should look again."

i have a friend that was sure she was going to marry two different guys that she's dated. 

they had all these things that she loved {and grew to love}.

but they're not her soulmates.

this is what she woke up and "just knew",

though it was a long time coming.

these relationships were just stepping stones. necessary and great and beautiful parts of her life that are going to take her closer and closer to The One.

when she looked back, she looked again and saw that they were just pieces that didn't fit perfectly.

how hard is it?

very.

you're trying to find a perfect fit.

i am yearning for my other half.

i want to wake up one day and "just know".

are they really out there? are they standing right in front of me?

i don't know.

so much to be unsure about.

so much heartache.

i know it will be hard

but i'm not giving up.

no matter how many times i have to pick up the pieces.

no matter how many times i find someone who is an "almost"

and no matter how many times i either

a) get my heartbroken or

b) break someone else's heart.

i won't stop trying to get that certainty i'm  looking for.

even though it's so hard. 

{i might be crying thinking about it}