Tuesday, August 25, 2009

dear Change...

i love you sometimes.
i love when you affect my hair, my room, my weight {for the better}.
i love when you make things better.

you help the world. make it go round.
you have saved lives.
you have saved marriages.
you have kept people out of jail.
kept people from making the same mistakes overandoverandover.

promises of you have saved relationships
promises of you helped obama win.
promises of you have created hope.

you make water turn to ice. summer turn to fall. boys turn into men. 

i liked you, Change. we had a good thing going.

i like having spare change jingling in my pockets. irrelevant.
i like when you make things (1)prettier (2)brighter (3)easier (4)lovelier (5)better.
Change, please note number five.
i like when you make things better.

i know we cannot avoid you.
i know you cannot control yourself. you just can't help it. 
i would suggest a lesson in self-control.
i can recommend a GREAT therapist who can help you with that, Mr. Change.

please stop coming around when the dust has settled and i can see things clearer.
please stop coming when i can finally breathe easier 
and when i have stopped crying every day 
and when i have just adjusted to your most recent smiting upon me.

listen to me, Change.
please stop walking in when i have attempted to barricade the door.
please stop calling when i have cut the phone line.
please stop appearing in my nightmares when i try to stay awake.
please stop sending me letters when i have nailed the mail slot shut.
please stop coming when i don't want you.

yes i am talking to you, Change. and only you.
i have purposely created this obstacle course for you to go through.
purposely built that brick wall.
purposely took my name out of the phone book.
purposely tried to keep you out 
because i like the way things are.
well, were.

i'm pleading with you, Change.
STOP. you've done enough.
stop taking things away from me. giving me things i don't want. picking me up and moving me somewhere i don't want to be. stealing from me. 

S  T  O  P

i know you feel like you can do whatever you want
but it hurts.
so just try.

stick to rattling around in my piggy bank.
that's the only kind of change i like as of late.

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