insane courage

a wonderful way to think.
i must admit, when i first saw this,
i had to sit back and just absorb the magnitude of that sentence for quite some time.

it was so overwhelming.

i realized
that it's absolutely astounding.

life expectancy today is about 78 years old,
which is {very roughly} 2.5 billion seconds.
do you realize how seemingly insignificant 20 seconds seem in that large number?

you have 125 million opportunities to use 20 second increments in your life.

that is the percentage of your life that 20 seconds eats up.
tiny number!

when i was younger,
i lacked courage in a very big way.

i couldn't order my own food at a restaurant.
i couldn't make eye contact with anyone but family.
i couldn't ask someone to help me find my classes, even if i really needed it.

if i was late for school, i would stand outside the door and build up the courage to walk in late, knowing everyone would stare at me. there were times i would stand out there for almost an hour. {so silly, right? i was just making the problem worse!}

all you need is that moment.
because that's all 20 seconds is in the grand scheme of things.
a moment to pour your energy into a cause you believe in.
one moment to shine as bright as the sun,
and stand tall
and speak.

no one in all of philanthropic history
wasted time cowering behind self-constructed walls.

those who did,
either grabbed a 20 second piece of their life and threw it back into the abyss
or held on to that piece and used it to make a difference.

i'm scared out of my mind sometimes.
i am.
i struggle every day with fear.
i am not afraid to admit that i lack courage in many situations.

but i have this life,
all 2.5 billion seconds of it.

i can surely donate a solid and strong 20 seconds,
no matter how uncomfortable or frightening it may be,
to something that is really worth it...

because i know something great will come of it.

also, i'm probably going to see that movie.
i heard it's jónsi fest.