to my future daughter,

in light of this wonderful article,
please
don't let anyone gaslight you.
don't fall for it. ever.

if you don't want to read the article,
or if you don't know what gaslighting is in general,
it's essentially invalidating a reaction by deeming it unreasonable.

i hope at this point i have raised you to know that your feelings are real
i hope you are strong and know what reactions and feelings are proper in each circumstance.
i hope you know that your feelings are valid,
and that the boys that surround you can be just as "dramatic" as you can.
i can tell you stories and stories attesting to that.

i can also tell you stories of women who took this to their advantage
and cried "sexism" whenever they could.
i hope by now you have realized how silly this is.


please take responsibility for those moments when you are mean, hurtful, irrational, and rude.
there will be moments when someone takes the time to shed light on this and correct you.
it will not always be sexist.
learn to know the difference.


please know that the women in movies are hardly realistic.
think of teachers you admire, neighbors, your aunts sadie & hannah, your grandmother, my mother.
strong women who have risen above being "the ditsy one", "the emotional one", "the i-love-my-career-more-than-family one".
please don't let anyone else define you.

don't ever, ever let anyone tell you to
"stop being such a girl".
what does that even mean?
stop being "such" a girl?
don't reduce yourself to being a "silly girl".
i'm sitting here right now being completely female.
i don't know how i would stop that...
if you're feeling something powerful,
please do not be guilty of writing it off to "girl stuff".
sentences like that degrade womanhood.
it takes away the power of what it means to be female.

womanhood is so powerful.
please, please
do not use your femininity in ways other than what God has intended.
stay beautiful and intelligent and pure.
do not reduce the gifts you have been given to simple worldly demands.
i beg of you.
please do not do this.

i want you to know that it is so easy to be blinded in this world.
you have the power to see what you want to see.
remember this. choose wisely.

you can be sweet and pretty, full of sugar and spice,
and you can also be tough and rugged and dirty.
you can love dresses or hate them.

you can be just about anything you want,
just don't be limited.

i love you so much already.