...but sometimes it hurts instead

i had a workshop on monday.
danced to adele.

always awesome.

i love having impromptu workshops.
it's amazing to see who comes,
who really wants to be there on their day off.

i love being in a room full of people that have a common desire
and just standing there and taking all the energy in.
i love it oh-so much.

we danced for change.
we danced for heartbreak.
we danced for purpose.

that's basically what it's all about anyways.
finding purpose.
in everything.

my dear cindi once talked about loss,
about heartbreak...
how she just had to remind herself that what she had was just a glimpse of what is to come.
really, that's all that it is sometimes.

it's never easy,
losing something.
never.

we get cut from auditions,
we lose in relationships,
we don't get into our dream college.

doors close on us all the time.
these things are often just glimpses of what is to come.
bigger and better things.
things MEANT for us.

there's always, ALWAYS a reason
a purpose
for our loss.
even if we don't see it right away.

i asked everyone to just lose themselves,
to think about loss and purpose
and recognize that there is freedom in acceptance.


{i would seriously recommend watching the whole video. it's wonderful observing how everyone takes the story and tells it a little differently}


i had no idea that several days later i would lose something
so
so
so
dear to me.
so suddenly.

i'm struggling to find purpose
due to the circumstances in which
i lost.

now this song,
this combo
is speaking to me in an entirely different way.
and it is so tragic.

the loss itself may have purpose... but what about my psyche? what about the manner in which it was taken away from me? how am i going to explain this to my aching heart? "there's a reason for everything"???

because
for me it isn't over.

i can't seem to take my own medicine, now, can i?